Let’s Go Inside
It's October again. Ever since I could remember, Halloween was my favorite holiday. It's the time of year when the yearning for magic and making the impossible possible is embraced. You have the freedom to be who or what your little heart desires without fear of how you present to the world. You could be any person (dead or alive), any hero (real or imagined), any monster or villain, any animal, creature, or even object. We give ourselves and each other permission to play with our identities. We gather and celebrate--the more wild, ridiculous, silly, scary, (Fill-In-The-Blank), the better!
There's a sweet relief in that. We can momentarily drop the masks, or persona, we wear in our day-to-day to don another kind of mask entirely. No longer weighed down by the roles we were given or forced to take on for survival's sake, no longer restrained by the puppet strings attached to us early on in life, we are free to imagine. We are open to magic.
Magic happens when we release our constraints and cross the threshold from known to unknown. I call this braving the inner wilderness. Many of my clients come to me because they have become masters of their hyper-functioning, orderly, busy, external lives and slaves to their chaotic, unknown, mystical yet mystifying internal lives. The immense work it takes to manage the gap, or misalignment, between the persona and the felt sense experience of their psyche is so exhausting it leaves no room for magic. Not to mention--it also fuels our sense of imposter syndrome despite evidence to the contrary we may have gathered over our lifetime.
The parts of us that manage or comprise our persona are beautiful and noble in their intent to help us navigate an unpredictable world as a coherent, functional self. In Internal Family Systems (IFS) language, these are our Self-like parts. These parts of us can be so good at their job that we start to believe we are what they present to the world. They feel like our self.
You may we wondering, if we are not who we present to the world, then who are we truly? The answer is "yes and." YES, we are our persona AND we are what lies dormant (or not so dormant) underneath in the fertile, subterranean gap between what is visible and what is invisible, even to our own eyes. It is the realm of the shadow, and we belong to it as much as we belong to the realm of the light.
Magic happens when we bring our shadow realm into the light with love and compassion, we see the unseen, and we return home to our Selves. Even our inner monsters exiled in our internal abysses have a home within us. This is integration: I can be with any part of myself and no human experience of mine is too much or too little for me to access, embody, animate, and express within my Being.
"Magic is a way of living. If one has done one's best to steer the chariot, and one then notices that a greater other is actually steering it, then magical operation takes place," states Carl Jung in his famous Red Book. This is the promise of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, or any psychospiritual practice for that matter. We can experience who is really steering the chariot and learn to trust the "greater other" that lives within us, connecting us to each other and to what lies beyond us. This is the initiation of the wound, or trauma, that demands of us to cross these thresholds, dance with our shadow, resolve the unresolved, and accept the invitation to magical living.
The poet WB Yeats writes, "The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper." Our senses grow sharper when we can embody the full spectrum of our humanness. When no feeling is alien to us and we integrate both the wound and the treasure hidden within it, we discover the magic awaiting us.
Questions
What have you dressed up for as Halloween over the years? Was there any part of you that needed to express a certain quality or experience through the mask or costume?
How aware of you of your mask, persona, or Self-like parts? Of the way you present to the world? Can you get curious and maybe even express gratitude or appreciation for the ways in which this has served you and your life?
What are some fears or concerns you may have about crossing the threshold and exploring what lies beneath the persona in the shadow realm?
What is currently blocking you from living a more integrated life with wholeheartedness and self-mastery?
What does magic as a way of living mean to you? How would that look like, feel like, be like?
More from Sofia
The Myth of Minotaur and Theseus: Step into the Labyrinth of Integration, Loving and Liberating the Repressed Parts of the Psyche / workshop
If the topic of integration with love speaks to you, you're invited to Session 3 of my free workshop, Embody the Hero Within: How 5 Ancient Greek Myths Can Help Unlock Your Healing Potential, published in collaboration with the Trauma Research Foundation and co-created with my dear colleague and friend, Depy Ploussiou.
Letters from Sofia #1: Your Way Into the Light / newsletter
My previous newsletter in case you missed it. I share with you the hero's journey of trauma recovery, how to reconnect with your Self, and the importance of feeling at home in our minds and bodies.
How to Heal You Inner Child / article
My article on healing your inner child delves into how to genuinely heal from trauma, how to reparent ourselves, what is Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy and why and how it works.
Invitations for Exploration
I'm Attending:
A 2-Day Intensive Virtual/In-Person Masterclass with Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, author of the global bestseller, The Body Keeps the Score. Last month our institute, Trauma2Therapy, hosted Dr. van den Kolk for a virtual and in-person masterclass on healing from trauma. If you missed it, you still have the opportunity to follow the workshop online on demand at your own time and pace. Visit our Trauma2Therapy website to access virtually.
I'm Reading:
The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief by Francis Weller. This book puts into words the sacred art of grief and the hidden treasure of aliveness that lies within our sorrow. In the modern Western world grief is a lonely space we occupy in the privacy of our own broken hearts and frozen bodies. This is especially the case for ambiguous or complicated grief. Weller dives into ways we can understand and honor the power of grief and our capacity to be transformed by it.
The Most Important Thing by Julia Fehrenbacher. This poem feels like a tender yet encouraging hug for the soul. It speaks to the process of making a home inside ourselves and what "bursting into blossom" can look like and feel like.
I'm Watching:
The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, a film. I'm revisiting one of my favorite films based on a memoir by Jean-Dominique Bauby. Bauby was fully paralyzed due to an accident yet was able to write his book by blinking one eye. His story explores the resiliency of the human spirit and the rich, inner worlds we carry within us.
I'm Listening To:
Change Your Mindset, Your Health, Your Life with Dr. Ellen Longer | Jordan B. Peterson Podcast. Dr. Longer has a beautiful, inspiring take on mindfulness and how to experience delight in the unknown and magic in everyday present moments.