Healing your mind to body connection is so commonly talked about it feels like a cliché at this point. Yet here I am writing this blog post. Why you may ask?
I see clients who have lived their entire lives from the neck up day in and day out. With great success I may add. But they feel no peace, no joy, no freedom. Outwardly they look like they’re thriving but inwardly they’re barely surviving. Fulfillment feels like a far off fantasy.
I know because I was that client who showed up to my therapist’s office, plopped myself on the couch like my body weighed a ton of bricks and proclaimed, “I’m doing everything I ever wanted to do, and I feel dead inside. I don’t enjoy any of it. Is there something wrong with me?”
I was making one fatal error. And no, FATAL, is not an overexaggeration. I didn’t get the difference between being alive and feeling alive.
If you’re reading this, you’re living. Obviously. But….Are you feeling alive?
There’s a world of a difference between living and FEELING alive.
You know what “living” feels like. You’re in survival mode, reacting to internal and external events, like a leaf blowing in the wind. You feel at the mercy of your own life despite having worked so hard to create a life you like! You’re lost in thought about the past or worrying about the future. Your mind to body connection is nonexistent.
Stress can be so overwhelming that “living” feels like a burden instead of a gift. The body becomes a battleground for stress and tension instead of home to your precious self.
Feeling alive is the space in which you’re in connection and attunement with your own mind, body, and soul.
All the parts of you that make you uniquely human are welcomed into this sacred space, infused by Self-Energy in Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy. You’re having a felt sense experience of your inner loving parent. No thought, feeling, sensation, or behavior has the power to overwhelm, stress, or frighten you.
Your body’s sensations are the ways in which your humanness is in communion with your true Self and vice versa.
Trauma by its very nature is a disconnection from your Self and others.
The embodied experience of YOU is the first to go. One popular misconception is that there’s an insurmountable loss when trauma occurs.
The truth is there’s no loss. Only lost access to your Self, your aliveness. Your body is a door to the world of your aliveness. A world of peace, joy, freedom, and love.
How do you begin to heal the mind to body connection after trauma? The first step is to get curious.
Learn which parts of you don’t feel it’s safe or even possible to experience that attunement and oneness with your physical being.
Trauma can live in your body in many ways. Different parts have taken on various coping strategies to help you get to where you are today.
Before you read any further, check in. Are you feeling curious?
Make space for some curiosity and gratitude for the parts of you that had to disconnect you from your body in the hopes of surviving and thriving. If that’s not accessible to you right now, take a break, make a coffee, and come back when you’re ready.
Here are 5 signs you need to heal your mind to body connection:
You’re feeling too much in your body. Your heart races, you clench your jaw, your chest is filled with volcanic-level pressure, your breathing is quick and shallow, your legs are tense like you’re ready to make a run for it. A hypervigilant part of you is in the driver’s seat. It’s ready to fight or flight at any moment.
You’re feeling too little in your body. You go numb. You dissociate. You feel like you’re not in your body. You’re probably not even aware there’s a body there to be in. (I know absolutely nothing about this!) A disconnecting part of you is running the show. It keeps you in freeze mode.
Your body becomes a means to an end. Working out, dieting, focusing on body image all done in extreme ways are signs an achieving part is holding the reins, or blended in IFS terms. Your body is one more thing on the to do list to get you to where you need to be to feel “enough.”
You experience emotional flashbacks. Have you ever been in a beautiful place with loved ones and then all of a sudden your body starts “freaking out” on you? You wonder why you can never truly relax. Your heart feels like it’s throbbing out of your chest. Your whole body feels like it’s being electrocuted. All while you’re lying on a beach listening to the sounds of the waves. You can thank emotional flashbacks for that. “Emotional flashbacks are intensely disturbing regressions [“amygdala hijackings”] to the overwhelming feeling-states of your childhood abandonment. When you are stuck in a flashback, fear, shame and/or depression can dominate your experience,” according to psychotherapist Pete Walker. A traumatized part of you stuck in the past is trying to get your attention. This especially happens when you’re in a safe, relaxed state. Your vulnerability yearns to be seen, heard, and held when there’s no obvious danger on the horizon.
You avoid feeling at all costs. Your body is only a vehicle in which your brain drives around. Purely practical. You have a strong analytical or intellectual part that runs your life, reaches goals, and manifests those dreams. Its brain power is immense. It may say, “Sofia, Who’s got the time to FEEL?” “Why would I want to get grounded in my body?” The body and feelings are “extras.” Chances are they’re a nuisance, or even a threat, to this highly intelligent part that keeps you living from the neck up.
Let’s take a moment to invite all of these parts into your mind’s eye. I’d like to acknowledge and honor them. The:
Hypervigilant part inducing pressure and tension to get you ready to face any danger
Disconnecting part taking you out of your body to not feel discomfort or pain
Achieving part using the body to achieve on the physical level and feel a sense of strength, beauty, or worthiness
Traumatized parts trying to get your love and attention through emotional flashbacks in the body
Analytical or intellectual parts employing all that brain power to run your life in a rational way
Thank each and everyone for doing its part and set an intention to continue going on this healing journey.
If you’re ready to dig deep and heal your mind to body connection in a stress-free (fun!) way, then your next step is to book a free video consultation.
I believe in my bones that you are the hero of your own story and all you need to do is uncover the innate healing potential within you.
You CAN heal from your past and achieve the life deep down you know you’re worthy of. And I’m here to tell you it doesn’t have to be painful or uncomfortable. You CAN feel joy, peace, freedom, and love along the way.
Now, it’s your turn.
I’d love to hear from you in the comments section below. Do you live from the neck up? How do these 5 signs of mind-body disconnect show up in your life? Which one can you relate to most and why? What would you hope to get out of healing your mind to body connection?
This is just the beginning of our conversation and hopefully many more conversations to come. I look forward to seeing you around sofiavasi.com.
With love xx,
